Something strange is goin on in this city. I don’t know if it’s a new underground scene on the rise or just pure coincidence cause I’ve seen this before but thought it was a once in a lifetime situation. Or maybe it’s the time of the year where all of them shiny pimped up fixed gears and singlespeeds disappear and the true hardcore bike pimps crawl out of their caves and flash their style on dark and shady corners. They seem to be akin to some kind of (bike) fetish, something involving pain in areas of your body that are usually meant to give you pleasure:
No, I’m not talking about the rusty cockpit, this is just meant to ease you in and get you in the mood for this:
Come on man, what the fuck?! It’s rusty, it’s wet, it’s dirty and can seriously injure the most delicate parts of your body. It looks like a torture machine from the middle ages. I think if they’d have used it in Braveheart, William Wallace would have had taken that fuckin poison and killed himself before he was forced to take a seat:
I know there are people out there getting their genitals pierced and tattooed so I assume dis ride here is for those who’ve been there already and need to take it one step further.
On a somewhat lighter, yet similarly disturbing note is this bike I spotted just around the next shady corner:
Ok, so it has a somewhat functioning saddle, but the all rusty everything scheme takes a weird direction lookin at the cockpit:
What the hell, I didn’t know they had smartphones back then. Still, I’d love to see the owner putting his brand new Iphone 6+ into the rusty holder, opening his favorite medieval metal playlist and riding away through the storm.
I’m seriously expecting to see some sort of ads in the close future calling out for weirdos who like rust, dirt and excruciating pain in the lower part of their body. If they should also start filming themselves executing their filthy habits I believe we should all brace ourselves for some seriously disturbing bike porn trailers on youtube.
Can’t wait for that trend to hit the mainstream..
Older, bolder, none the wiser. The experienced side of disridehere.