In a time where realness is a desperately sought after attribute we find ourselves confronted with people acquiring all sorts of lifestyle gimmicks to underline their personality and uniqueness. It often seems like a battle lost before it has even begun. Sometimes though, realness is to be found in places noone could have imagined. Like a friend of mine who’s got nothing to do with cycling whatsoever wearing a shirt with a  print of a Japanese Keirin race that looked totally oldschool. Of course I had to ask where he got it and his reply was as real as it gets: “Uh, my girl bought it at Primark last week..”. I can only assume the owner of dis ride here would have a similar story to tell:


This one is so disturbingly real I don’t know where to start. The person riding it must be the complete opposite of the over concerned cyclist spending more time fine-tuning his ‘colorway’ than actually riding his bike but still I’d love to imagine there’s some intention behind this:


It so perfectly fits this year’s 20th anniversary of Nas’ Illmatic I just can’t stop fantasizing about someone who bought this to honor one of Hip Hop’s greatest. Just close your eyes and imagine grandma riding this with Beats By Dre headphones on, rapping along to ‘The World Is Yours’ or ‘Life’s A Bitch’. But the realness doesn’t end there, in fact it’s where it starts:


It seems that this bike’s acceleration is so badass it caused the rear rack to pop out of its horizontal sockets and the owner obviously being too real as to fix it.

Another sign of absolute ghetto realness is the seat post:


Fuck safety man, just pull that shit up till the safety clamp area is converted to mere design. And you thought slamming stuff was real? Yeah, maybe in 2005 bro, wake up and accept that this one’s got us all beat. The rusted seat clamp screw is only there to remind you that no matter how little you care, dis ride here cares less. To top it off, of course the rear tire’s got a flat. No need to fix it though, that’s for people trying to keep it real. So just to make sure you won’t forget:

‘Ill was a phrase, everything was ill…And Illmatic was like, the highest level of ill!’.


About Trulli

TrulliOlder, bolder, none the wiser. The experienced side of disridehere.