Ever been to a bicycle trade show? Or better yet a trade show where all sorts of themes are mixed up and lotsa future and science shit is goin on and cycling is represented as part of that? On a hot day? I’m talking 37°C+. No? Well I was and let me tell ya, if you should be tempted at some point in your life, don’t do it, go swimming for Chrissake.
Then again, if I’d gone swimming I’d have missed out on this:
The future is here, I’m tellin ya. Finally we can have our weekly slot car challenge and still ‘cycle’ while we race, that must be so much fun. Like playing a video game but still having to move but don’t worry, that invention probably won’t be made very soon. While in this example, cycling is a mere means to power an electric machine, there were other amazing future bike-like inventions like dis ride here:
I know, every trade show needs at least one future-freaky cargo bike. I’m still waiting for the day where they manage to not choose a horrible color and actually make it look comfortable though. Can you please adjust the saddle angle if you gonna put that on display? Then again, you might just leave it like that cause it still looks more comfy and rideable than dis ride here:
Recumbent future shit, finally. Where do I start? Where are the pedals? Where do I put my luggage if I can’t wear a backpack? Is this thing safe? Is that a wooden chassis or what? And most importantly, considering the rear dropouts, can I convert it into a fixed gear?
The answer might be ‘yes, these are true track dropouts but with an oldschool 110 BIA approved spacing’. Finally I know where to put my DuraAce BIA rear hub, thank you. I got two more questions though: Can I ride brakeless and how do I skid this thing? Can somebody please start a recumbent fixed gear trend and take it all the way, recumbent fixed alleycats and criteriums and all of that? Man, I’d really love to see that.
After having seen all this future bike shit I needed something to calm me down and remember that we can still simply hop on a regular bike and just ride. And dis ride here bike I happened to encounter on my way home brought me right back to earth:
Someone who worked at the trade show used it to get from here to there quickly, kinda what cycling started from. I was totally grounded the second I spotted it, kinda like being really drunk and then being sober the next second. Almost a bit too sober cause it was still super hot outside and I needed something to get me just the right amount of bike-high. It didn’t take too long till I met this guy and his ride at the central station:
That aint future, that’s just pure freakiness. It wasn’t quite what I needed but hey, sometimes you gotta roll with what you get. And let me say this, no matter how stylish and freaky you think you are on your fixed gear or whatever ride, remember there’s always at least that one dude who outfreaks all of us by far. He might show us what not giving a shit is all about as well cause when I said something like: ‘Yo, cool bike, can I take a picture?’, his response was: ‘Whatever, gotta catch my train’.
That’s the attitude, yall remember that next time you see someone poser-skid his way through the urban jungle..