Bike experts. They’re everywhere. If you’ve ridden your bike for more than 10km and managed to finally exchange that flat front tube you’re an official bike expert. That qualifies you to post your knowledge all over the internet, no matter if asked for or not. If someone asks for the perfect saddle, you have just the right pro tip for them. Tires that are perfect for skidding? You’ve been hillbombing your city for almost a year now so of course you know the perfect rear tire to recommend. And you might also add some pro knowledge on calculating your skidpatches cause them stupid wannabes have never heard of that and will be so impressed. Of course you have been to the track at least twice taking your epic instagram pics and you’ve probably seen Förstemann do one of his silly promo shots so of course the rest of the bike world will find out about all these must-knows through you. To top it off, you sure are proud of your custom made track frame and you watched your friend make his first whacky move on building his own wheel so you even have pro knowledge in that field aswell. This kinda uplifts your scene status to proper oldschool bike god so to speak. If you’ve also been messengering for at least a year and have attended an alleycat and criterium there are no words left to describe your bike awesomeness.

But let me ask you this: Have you glued your own tubs yet? It seems to me since riding on the track is the new ‘backstage’ and having your well renowned fixed gear posse post your last ride and print your own jerseys is kinda standard, one of the very few things that haven’t been touched on by the urban bike community is tubulars. Makes sense, they’re rather expensive, hard to mount properly and they’re not your friend if you ride a 47/18 and skid more than you pedal.

Yet they’re still the ultimate when it comes to performance. And style I might add. And since we at DISRIDEHERE feel that you either better shut up and ride or take style to the next level, I’d like to present to you some bikeporn, proper oldschool of course.

But first, let me ask you this: What is worse than acting like you really know something about bikes yet all your knowledge comes from facebook and ‘the scene’? That’s right, other people calling you an expert yet all you wanna do is ride and geek out on dope equipment amongst your friends. If someone proclaims your expert status amongst the stupid, people will consult you for all kinds of bike related reasons: ‘What size of frame do I need?’, ‘Whats the best stem for my dedicated criterium fixed gear?’, ‘My knees hurt, do you know any good doctors to consult as a fixed gear bike racer?’, and so on and so forth.

Sometimes I’d like to simply pull out my tubular glue and see if it works on their mouths, too. Or my ears for that matter. Cause that shit’s some seriously gooey, sticky kind of stuff. It flows a bit like honey but smells like a donkey’s ass:

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I love it and I hate it. I love to have the time to glue some fresh tubs to some dope rims, I hate it if I have to clean the rim first or if I’m in a hurry and mess up cause that shit will glue water to air if it has to. It is extremely satisfying though once you finish the job. And every once in a while a friend will hand you some of his oldschool rims and hubs cause you’re an expert on tubs and ask you to build him a true set of track wheels:

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I don’t really want to comment on this pair of hubs. If you need to find out I’ll give you a hint: Google Italian NJS and you’ll know. I know they’re hard to come by but I’ve been lucky enough to have them handed to me every now and then to have my fix of track dopeness. But what really knocked me off my feet this time were these:

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Not that it matters, but titan Araya Gold? Seriously? They’re as dope as they are unnecessary. But so damn dope. I had a blast building them up and scratching up the rim well. Why I had to scratch it up? Go ask a pro. Anyways, if you should ever decide to do it on your own and if I might give one little word of advice: Take your time, follow the instructions, wear old clothes and don’t drop the glue! It’ll be fun, I promise. You’ll be feeling oldschool and pro, you might even start trippin on the glue’s smell or the way that the first layer shines in the sunlight:

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Pure track gold. Messy and beautiful. Remember, don’t spill that glue, just keep calm and follow through. I’ll spare you the details but if you’re persistent it’ll look something like this once finished:

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Now you’re ready to put about 200 psi on them and finally do what you’re meant to be doing on a track bike: Go as fast as you can. On the track. It’ll make you feel so real and true you’ll be starting to contemplate selling your Notorious 90/Trispoke combo you were so damn proud of last summer. And the description will read something like this:

‘4 sale. Perfect, almost mint condition. Only ridden on wooden track a couple of times. Super fast and super stiff, the ultimate fixed gear weapon. Asking XXX$ or willing to trade for oldschool tubular track wheelset, preferably Campagnolo C-Record/Araya.’

Good luck..

About Trulli

TrulliOlder, bolder, none the wiser. The experienced side of disridehere.